Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My mother just passed away; I am named as the Executor.  What do I need to do immediately?

 A: Assuming you are named as your mother’s Executor, there are a couple of things that should be done before the funeral. 

• • Secure the home and its contents: Take possession of the keys, and lock up the home. Arrange for a trusted friend to house-sit on the day of the funeral.  If others have keys and you are concerned that personal possessions may “walk out the door”, change the locks.
  • The Estate Planning documents: Take possession of the original Trust(s), original Will, original Codicil(s), and any list(s) of personal belongings immediately.  Place them in a safe place out of reach of any other persons. 
  • Pets: take custody, or arrange for someone to take custody of any pets. If indoor pets, they may remain in the home provided (of course) they are fed, watered and walked.  You may also need to check to see if your mother made provisions for the pets in the will or trust.
  • The funeral and burial or cremation: Hopefully, your mother will have already pre-planned and pre-paid for the funeral and burial.  If so, you will simply need to let the medical professionals know which funeral home to contact.  If not, and if the family agrees on what is to be done, the funeral home will direct who signs the contracts.  The estate will reimburse the payments (note: if there may be more debt than assets, best to be conservative since there is a limited payment to funeral and burial, unless someone is able to personally pay for the funeral and burial or cremation arrangements).  In most situations, you have time to get through the funeral before anything else needs to be done.

It is rare that anything else must be done before the funeral. 

Q: What should I do about my mother's personal belongings after she becomes deceased?

A: Unfortunately, the distribution of personal possessions can bring out the worst in families.  Because families are spread out, it is often convenient for the family to distribute personal possessions shortly after the funeral (and often before our appointment).  This is fine, if everyone can agree and will sign a receipt confirming that they received those items to which they are entitled (see the receipt form in our downloadable forms section).  If you are going to distribute personal property before you come in to see us, review the Will before the property is distributed.  Be sure you know who is entitled to what. If you are unsure, do not distribute anything until we meet.

In Virginia, it is legal for the Will to allow the testator to leave a signed list of tangible personal property, and designate who receives specific items of tangible personal property.  Review your mother’s Will to see if there is a provision that allows this.  If so, look for the list.  If you find a list (normally it will be kept with the original Will), make several copies of it.  Keep the original with the original Will, and do not mark on it.  Those items, if your mother owned them at her death, must be given to the person named on the list.  We suggest having everyone sign the form that is attached to this website titled “Tangible Personal Property Receipt” certifying that they have received the specific items they are designated on the list to receive.

If the family begins to quarrel over who gets what (“Mother said I could have her diamond ring” … “Since I gave it to her, I get it back”… “Since I am not employed, I should get more” … “That’s my childhood bed, so that’s mine”), postpone any distributions until we meet.  And yes, we mean any distribution.  Not one stick of furniture, not one earring walks out the door until we meet.  Let the family know this is what the attorney is telling you to do.  We don’t mind being the bad guy. 

Do not begin distributing anything other than personal belongings until you have met with us.  Done incorrectly, you may incur personal liability for paying debts out of order, or may be sued for fiduciary abuse if you favor one beneficiary over another. 

Q: When will the attorney "Read the Will"?

A: The "Reading of the Will" is a myth.  There is a common misconception that the family must meet in the attorney's office, where the attorney will unseal the original Will, and read the Will to the family.  This is a myth perpetuated by Hollywood, as a device to show the various emotional reactions as a result of the provisions of the Will.  We do however think (in most cases, anyway) it makes sense to distribute a copy of the Will to the whole family.  In Virginia, the Will gets recorded at the Courthouse, and becomes public record.  Anyone can review it.

Q: Who’s in Charge?

A: The decedent is still in charge, and the decedent's direction is expressed in the Will.  We have found a common misunderstanding about the responsibilities of the Executor.  The Executor is responsible to do what the Will directs.  No more, no less.  The Executor is not to do what he or she believes the decedent wanted, but must act as the Will directs. 

Q: Who’s in Charge?

A: The decedent is still in charge, and the decedent's direction is expressed in the Will. We have found a common misunderstanding about the responsibilities of the Executor. The Executor is responsible to do what the Will directs. No more, no less. The Executor is not to do what he or she believes the decedent wanted, but must act as the Will directs.