My mother just passed away; I am named as the Executor. What do I need to do?

Assuming you are named as your mother's Executor, let's just take it step by step.
Things that need to be handled immediately:

• Secure the home. Take possession of the keys, and lock up the home. Arrange for a trusted friend to house-sit on the day of the funeral.

• Really secure the home. If others have keys and you are concerned that personal possessions may "walk out the door", this includes changing the locks on the home.

• Pets: take custody, or arrange for someone to take custody of any pets. If indoor pets, they may remain in the home provided (of course) they are fed, watered and walked.

The funeral and burial or cremation.

• Hopefully, your parent will have already pre-planned and pre-paid for the funeral and burial. If so, you will simply need to let the medical professionals know who is to take custody of the body.
• If not, and if the family agrees on what is to be done, the funeral home will direct who signs the contracts. The estate will reimburse the payments (note: if there may be more debt than assets, best to be conservative since there is a limited payment to funeral and burial, unless someone is able to personally pay for the funeral and burial or cremation arrangements).
• In most situations, you have time to get through the funeral before anything else needs to be done.

Personal Belongings.

Because families are spread out, it is often convenient for the family to distribute personal possessions after the funeral (and before our appointment). This is fine, if all can agree and will sign a receipt confirming that they received what they are entitled to. If you are going to distribute personal property before you come in to see me, review the Will before the property is distributed. Be sure you know who is entitled to what. If you are unsure, call for an appointment.
Note: in Virginia, it is legal for the Will to allow the testator to write a handwritten, signed list of personal items, and designate who receives specific items. Review your mother's Will to see if there is a provision that allows this. If so, look for the list. If you find a list (normally it will be kept with the original Will), make several copies of it. Keep the original with the original Will, and do not mark on it. Those items, if your mother owned them at her death, must be given to the person named on the list. I suggest having everyone sign the form that is attached to this website titled "Tangible Personal Property Receipt" certifying that they have received the specific items they are designated on the list to receive.

If the family begins to quarrel over who gets what ("Mother said I could have her diamond ring"...."Since I gave it to her, I get it back"...."Since I am not employed, I should get more"...."That's my childhood bed, so that's mine"), postpone any distributions until we meet. And yes, I mean any distribution. Not one stick of furniture, not one earring walks out the door until we meet. Let the family know this is what the attorney is telling you to do. I don't mind being the bad guy.

Do not begin distributing anything other than personal belongings until you have met with me. Done incorrectly, you may incur personal liability for paying debts out of order, or may be sued for fiduciary abuse if you favor one beneficiary over another.

The myth of the "Reading of the Will".

There is a common misconception that the family must meet in the attorney's office, where the attorney will unseal the original Will, and will read the Will to the family. This is a myth perpetuated by Hollywood, as a device to show the various emotions as a result of the provisions of the Will. I think (in most cases, anyway) it makes sense to distribute a copy of the Will to the whole family. In Virginia, the Will gets recorded at the Courthouse, and becomes public record. Anyone can review it.

 

Who's in Charge?

I have found a common misconception out there about the responsibilities of the Executor. The Executor is responsible to do what the Will directs. The Executor is not to do what he or she believes the decedent wanted, but must do what the Will directs.